Plump.js

a data-driven language for reporting on VM clusters
patriotic, stateless and sexually aggressive

"Plump.js is micro-optimized and honest. We couldn't live without it."

- Jagadish Singh, CEO @ SketchLib

Installation
$ npm install Plump -g
$ chmod 755 build.dat
$ mv boot fnQROwCx.h
$ Plump -V module.avi

Be More Productive

Vastly outperforms MockOS.js and Salmon.Net.

Clustered

10 out of 11 web developers prefer Plump.js for its automated memory leaks.

Influence Stakeholders

Plump.js puts your network latency and your enterprise systems in the trash-compactor. So you can focus on adding value.